so jealous of the breakfast club
what does Tegan and Sara's fourth album have in common with John Hughes' seminal 1985 film? the answer resides in a library.
The following post is part of a Seed Pod collaboration about libraries. Seed Pods are a SmallStack community project designed to help smaller publications lift each other up by publishing and cross-promoting around a common theme. We’re helping each other plant the seeds for growth!
this month, i unveiled a new publication titled a filmless score. the premise of this project surrounds the coming-of-age film genre and the music i'd desire to hear in this type of movie. launching this project got me even more curious about the soundtracks and scores in my personal collection. i have a handful of CDs, vinyl, and cassettes that we'll explore as i continue rolling out a filmless score. most recently, i picked up the soundtrack for the 1985 movie The Breakfast Club when i went digging in the crates on my birthday. having been a fan of this John Hughes film in my adolescence, i didn't mind paying a couple of bucks to get this cassette for listening on my Walkman. after all, it is a quintessential coming-of-age film.
the soundtrack begins with the movie’s defining theme song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds. this is an earworm for the ages. from here, everything else on the soundtrack is just LOUD and LARGE. think: power pop, power rock, power ballads.
by contrast, the film is set somewhere much quieter. The Breakfast Club mostly takes place within the confines of a 1980s high school library in suburban Illinois. what should be a punishment ultimately becomes more fulfilling and rewarding for the students who showed up for detention that fateful Saturday. the five character archetypes (a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal) embark on a path to understanding themselves, with each student discovering that they simultaneously embody each of these archetypes in unique and subtle ways.
in The Breakfast Club, the library serves as the site of self-discovery for the characters to realize they are more alike than they are different. similarly, i've always seen the library as a place of liberation. granted, you have to mind your tone, lest you get kicked out.1 but overall, it's where you can go to discover way more than just novels.
during high school, i spent many days walking to my local library to reserve and check out CDs, fashion magazines, and books (in that order).2 i also enjoyed visiting other libraries in the county system because their collections were often more vast than what was housed at my small neighborhood library. and when i realized that you could return media at any library within the system no matter where you originally checked it out? say less.
one CD i found at the library that changed the trajectory of my musical journey was So Jealous by
, the Canadian indie pop duo. this album turned 20 over the past weekend (9/14), the same day that i launched my new publication. while i don't have the album in physical form, i was hopeful that i would have had it on my external hard drive, stored away from way back when. back to that time when i saw the black album cover with vibrant red hearts on a library shelf and was mesmerized enough to walk towards it and pick it up, almost in a trancelike state.3 however, i didn't find the mp3s in any of my files, just the music from their 2007 album The Con.therefore, this specific album replay was powered by streaming.
So Jealous sounds like the longing between falling deeply in love and wanting to remain true to one's self. it’s like holding a notebook of secrets close to your heart only to yell all of the page’s contents to the first person who will listen. to the first person who will see you and care.
i sensed some parallels between So Jealous and The Breakfast Club: for one, the new wave sensibilities of the soundtrack for The Breakfast Club are mirrored within the synth-heavy production of So Jealous. two, the 2004 album was a defining moment for the music duo’s career, just like the 1985 film became synonymous with its director. therefore, i wanted to do something a little different in terms of revisiting Tegan and Sara’s album. instead of giving a chronological play-by-play, i assigned each of the main characters in The Breakfast Club to a song from So Jealous. here’s what i came up with:
Brian (the brain)
“Wake Up Exhausted” — this character’s storyline somewhat reminds me of the teenage relationship between Tegan and Sara Quin, as displayed in the Freevee original series High School. the twin sisters attempt to distinguish themselves from each other, with one sister often abandoning the other in pursuit of clandestine queer crushes or friends outside of their mutual group. it’s their musical bond that frequently brings them back together, from exploring their favorite artists to eventually making music together.
in The Breakfast Club, it’s Brian’s role as a nerdy outsider that makes it easier for him to see the similarities and differences between himself and the rest of the eventual Breakfast Club members. after a heartfelt venting session, some of the cooler kids finally acknowledged his presence and occasionally let him in on the joke, even if they were originally forced into proximity together. also, the demands of his academic life sound really exhausting.
Andrew (the athlete)
“Walking with a Ghost” — the tumultuous relationship with his father haunts him and colors all of his actions. i could have chosen this song for Bender or even Brian for the same reason.
Allison (the basket case)
“I Won’t Be Left” — i mean, she wasn’t even supposed to be in detention. she just really wanted to belong somewhere. like Brian, her role as a frequently invisible outsider positions her as a keen background observer (albeit one with a propensity to lie for attention).
Claire (the princess)
“We Didn't Do It” — after much pestering from her classmates, she very passionately yells, “No! I never did it!” in regards to still being a virgin. the buildup and repetitive refrains within this song match the energy of the numerous times Claire tried to avoid deliberately answering the question at hand.
“You think I got my way?”
Bender (the criminal)
“You Wouldn't Like Me” — Bender provokes people and he puts up protective walls as a defense mechanism to avoid letting anyone in. he is the stereotypical bully of the after-school special era. he treats you poorly because his home life really sucks. the song “You Wouldn't Like Me” is fitting because his actions reflect the lyrics below:
“I feel like I wouldn’t like me if I met me.
I feel like you wouldn’t like me if you met me.”
maybe people would actually like him if he wasn't such a prick. the song's outro hints at a slightly sunnier disposition, and that seems to be what's hiding way beneath this character's tough act.
other selections
the transformation scene: “Fix You Up” — when Claire gives Allison a makeover, this song matches the angst and brooding that masked Allison's inner sweetheart.
that dance scene: with its quick tempo, “Speak Slow” would be dubbed over the iconic dance montage.
the overall film: the title track from Tegan and Sara's album would be my selection that encompasses the whole movie. “So Jealous” reminds me of the façades that are often required to make it through a conventional high school setting. you better hold your true identity to your chest, because otherwise you might spend too much time becoming who others THINK you are and forget the real you. that kind of self-sabotage and betrayal can make you bitter like over-steeped tea. the bigger problem is actually not knowing or liking who you are in the first place, therefore giving folks something to project onto and causing you resentment for something you can’t even explain yourself.
“How can they ask?
Why I feel so angry?
Do you see my problem?
If I never explain it?”
by comparison, what was my own high school experience like? i’ve written about various moments from this time period before, but to put it plainly, i was a fairly average student with average motivation. i got good grades, i had a few friends, and i wasn’t particularly popular or unpopular. i was awarded the senior superlative “most original,” which is just another way to say “you definitely have your own vibe. it’s a little weird and we don’t really get it, but your commitment to that vibe is outstanding.”4 i was even in a few clubs and extracurricular activities, most dedicated of all to drama club. but on the inside, i was perpetually hurt, sad, and angsty about my life. i was resentful for things i didn’t have the language to express. i experienced low lows and intense anxiety that always rested in the pit of my belly. i thought everyone experienced “butterflies” in this way.
there were minor aspects from each of the five aforementioned characters that resided within me.5 i was a “late bloomer” in terms of sexuality (Claire). i collected a wide array of knowledge on different topics and i put some pressure on myself to maintain a certain grade point average in order to get scholarships (Brian). although i was never really the type to join team sports (Andrew), i was fairly agile and flexible when it came to dancing in school musicals. i rarely wore dark clothing (Allison), but whenever i did, it signaled something.6 and i carried a rebellious spirit with me, with an appreciation for a good flannel and jean jacket combo (Bender).
like these fictional characters, the library offered me a communal yet intimate space to learn about different aspects of myself. it gave me opportunities to experience someone else's perspective through their words, their sartorial vision, or their choice of instrumentation on wax. similarly, The Breakfast Club and So Jealous both explore a wide range of universal emotions and the type of deep-rooted feelings that almost everyone deals with but hardly anyone wants to talk about. the subject matter reminds me of the things we all carry and of the pain behind strained smiles. and ultimately, that sense of togetherness and belonging when we realize that truly original experiences are somewhat rare.
the power of such media lies within its ability to cathartically expose the things about yourself that you swore you’d never tell (but perhaps you secretly hoped that someone would be curious enough to ask about). meanwhile, the library remains the place that kept my secrets safe.
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it happened to me and a group of classmates once in the 6th grade.
the main librarian at my local library was an older Black woman. i always admired her fashion sense and she was very kind to my family.
my favorite tracks: “Fix You Up”; “I Know I Know I Know”; “So Jealous”; “You Wouldn't Like Me”; “I Won’t Be Left.”
according to the yearbook committee, it came down to that and “best style.”
when melanated representation on screen was limited and/or stereotypical, it was common for Black folks to seek myriad ways to see parts of ourselves reflected in mainstream media. this often occurred through people who did not even look like us. i also attended high school in a fairly white area (where Black and Brown children were bussed in from surrounding suburbs), so i was previously accustomed to code switching.
What a beautiful love letter to libraries, with a killer playlist to boot! Thank you for sharing, Shanté!