31 flavors

serving up the real scoop

birthdays are typically a time to indulge in sweet treats, but one must equally consider the salty, sour, and bitter tastes for a diverse flavor profile. i’m too grown to hold back my tongue. in honor of my 31st birthday, i’m sharing a random assortment of thoughts, including complex lessons i’ve learned, delectable memories i hold sacred, and juicy pleasures i’ve savored.

1. keeping on theme with the title, i used to love Rainbow Sherbet from Baskin-Robbins. that sounds so good right now.¹

2. i’ve been reflecting on the divine technology of queerness and gender-expansive identity. how beautiful and sacred it is to operate outside of binary code.

3. when i encounter little free libraries, there’s often a music-related tome waiting for me. Percival Everett’s Sonnets for a Missing Key is a recent enjoyable discovery.

4. i’m really proud of how i updated the homepage for my passion project, a filmless score.

   

5. i’m grateful that i never felt the urge to completely get rid of my physical media collection. i always made space for it everywhere i moved, and the instinct was spot-on.

6. my inner child is one of my primary consultants for things i collected. earlier this year, i bought a copy of The Urbz from eBay to play on my OG Xbox (the one my mom bought for the family back in 2003). i used to have this Sims game way back when, but i think it was for a different console. what a pleasure it has been to play occasionally.

   

   a collage of photos from past birthdays, graduation, and Easter Sunday

7. on the theme of games, i started playing Pokémon GO again this year, and it’s still a lot of fun.

8. the hues of a sunset walk make up one of the best color palettes to be inspired by. i’ve enjoyed plenty of these moments with my fiancé.

9. shout out to Erica Weiner Jewelry (not sponsored). with as many stones and gems that i’ve collected, i forgot about pearl’s delicate nature and took the meaning of living in one’s jewelry a little too literally with my engagement ring. i sent the ring back in within warranty, and the jeweler made it look almost new.

10. here are a few of those aforementioned collected stones to admire:²

    

    i know that mother-of-pearl is not actually a stone, but i thought my ring box deserved to be placed among my other swirly/iridescent/pearlescent items.

11. i used to be so adventurous with styling my hair. now, the hairstyles i do are more low-maintenance. sometimes i miss my dreadlocks, but i’m growing my hair long again to make thick rope twists my signature style.

12. MAMA, i made it to the dictionary!

    

13. speaking of my mother, she and i recently traveled twice to a local nature reserve. both times, i’ve found blue jay feathers.

14. “i’m for the birds, not for the cages.”

15. if you follow any of my online work, it’s evident that i’m passionate about the efforts i get involved with. so being told that i didn’t “seize the opportunities when they presented themselves” by someone who consistently moved goalposts, restricted work that i was actually trained to do, and ultimately couldn’t pay the rates i deserved for the requested labor is as laughable as it is offensive and condescending.

16. the body will often show warning signs when it’s time to purge something out of your life. my spirit guides forcibly removed me from the previously mentioned situation because i kept ignoring all the prior red flags.³

17. in numerology, it’s a personal year 9 for me. things are expected to end and fall away. chapters are expected to close. plus, there are a few planets retrograde right now, so i’m in cosmic alignment to be transmuting all these heavy feelings. expansion will also require contraction; otherwise, you risk spilling your guts all over the floor.

18. no one has the right to tell you how to feel or control the narrative around how they treated you. when talking is futile, write down how the situation made you feel and burn it safely. ripping and shredding works just as well. then, tell the trees your sorrows, and don’t forget to leave an offering.

19. Cleo Reed’s song “Salt n’ Lime” is a balm right now! you’ll hear about this again when i send out my monthly music recap.

20. manufactured urgency does not move me much. i’m learning to perform at a pace that’s healthy for my nervous system. if i’m deemed too slow, consider that i’m not racing.

21. i bought new jewelry for most of my ear piercings; changing my own tragus jewelry proved to be a battle, but i made it happen.

22. i like the way my gray hair is growing in. it reminds me of tinsel.

23. despite my physical stature, my sister recently said i’ve always been a giant. so why have i found myself consistently playing small? something to unpack in therapy.

24. TikTok is actually a cool platform for music discovery (i was sleeping on it when i first started using the app a few years back). i stumbled upon this fun song by Jaiden Grayson recently.

25. we can’t learn other people’s lessons for them. a lot of folks gain understanding by running into a glass window over and over again before realizing it’s not a wide open space.

26. Destiny’s Child reuniting the same weekend as the anniversary of The Writing’s on the Wall? iconic behavior.

27. i haven’t been able to stop thinking about the scent Telegrama by Imaginary Authors since i sampled it. i’m gonna need to find something similar since i just learned that it’s been discontinued. the notes: talc, lavender absolute, black pepper, teak, amyris, vanilla powder, fresh linens.

28. more humming and singing as self-soothing.

29. i enjoy sharing my music collection via this newsletter, but i’m also feeling out other categories i haven’t shared as frequently. my magazine collection is currently calling out to me.

30. it’s becoming a tradition to get the same chocolate cake with orange icing and pastel flowers from the grocery store for my birthday. i’m gonna fit as many candles as i can on it, like i did last year.

31. Ms. Aretha Franklin (a collective ancestor and fellow fire sign whose music i heard in my childhood home all the time) is my inspiration for the day. per the linked photoset, i’m thinking of flowy layers, prominent eyeshadow & blush, wide smiles, and smoke tricks that taste like rose petals.

1. my bestie reminded me of Diamond’s verse in “Rock Yo Hips” by Crime Mob, which also feels relevant to this topic. i need to play that song today.

2. pictured: moonstone, labradorite, carnelian, kambaba jasper, mother-of-pearl, picture jasper, rhodochrosite, malachite, tiger’s eye, titanium aura quartz, chevron amethyst, and amazonite.

3. it took me way too long to clock that every time this individual fumbled me, other means of income miraculously showed up without requiring me to sacrifice too much of myself. there were multiple signs that i didn’t need to keep settling for less than i deserved. i’m currently in a liminal space, and i’ve been grieving this experience out loud so i can walk into my next season with a light heart and free mind.